Due to my Statements of Intent, I have been searching for topic(s) that I would be interested in writing about as my thesis or focus of study if I do get accepted.
I came across this book called Cultural Curiosities by Josephine Khu at our museum's Resource Center while researching about overseas Chinese (the closest to an academic library in HK since all universities libraries here are limited to their students only, which I think is ridiculous. I can't even enter the libraries! I would leave my rant about this for another time...). It's a compilation of 13 stories written by second/third/fourth generation ethnic Chinese growing up countries other than China and how they view themselves as Chinese.
After reading this book, all I want to do right away is to ask my friends how they view themselves, since most of them had lived in other countries for a prolonged period and are also citizens of other countries. How come I had never asked Seo how she felt as a HongKonger but at the same time, everyone will know that she's Korean just because she looks different and don't speak as fluent of Canto? Ah~ The interesting insights I can get from just my friends...
I also question myself how do I feel being in between communities for almost all my life. Since I studied in an international school, I was and still am treated differently whenever people heard that I came from one. Everyone viewed me as not so 'Chinese' while I can read and write and speak fluent in Canto and Mando, which is way better than a lot of people in HK, then why am I not 'Chinese' enough? When I am in the States, I speak fluent English and I probably know more about the American constitutions and history better than an average American, but am considered a foreigner. I realize now that I feel most comfortable among international school kids and people who studied or lived in other countries. They know not to question your 'ethnicity' since they understood that it makes no difference as to how you actually view yourself as.
I think of myself as Chinese, but not the mainland Chinese, but Chinese as hua ren 華人. I am from Hong Kong, but mostly I identify myself belonging to HK during colonial times. I am a Canadian citizen, but other than holding a passport saying I am one, I don't really know much about this country. I am not American, yet I know more about its history, geography and people than China's history.
Beware friends, I will question you if I do get accepted into grad school (evil laugh *muahahaha*)
So glad you brought this topic up! It's especially pertinent now in the midst of HK's National Education controversy. Just this morning my dad and I chatted at length about that and all the related issues, and it's making me think about what it means to be a Chinese-from-HK (using the non-nationality-bound term 華人).
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I don't even know what it means to be an HKer or if I can say I'm really from HK. Living in Germany has made this question of identity more pressing, as in, people press me on it more, but as a result I am less eager to confront it. The environment's simply not supportive enough for me to slowly explore the questions "Where am I from? What is my identity?" without pressure to give an actual answer.
Anyway, I'm guessing your mixed culture friends (I don't really like the term TCK - too narrow) would be happy to talk to you about their experiences. It can be very lonely living amongst people who think "Where are you from?" is a straightforward question! At the end of the day, I think mixed culture peeps really need to talk to other similar peeps about their shared experiences in a safe space without having to explain allllll the background info like "well, HK used to be a British colony, and now it's an SAR of China but a HKers still see themselves as different from mainlanders..."
I think back to SC/high school with regret at not being more curious about other people's backgrounds. Most of our classmates had at least some mixed culture experience and our teachers I'm sure would've had interesting stories about their own experiences either as a foreigner in HK or as an HKer in an international (foreign) school. Especially non-Chinese classmates - I would love to hear about their experiences. But as a silly 15-year-old it never occurred to me to reach out and connect with other people :P
That book sounds really interesting btw. Are you going to start school in Fall 2013 then? Where are you applying? :)
MISS YOU! Sorry about the long comment.
Oh! Oh! Totally understand how you feel and I am glad my friends in the States took the time to learn where I was from or at least listened to me. But ya, I sometimes had to explained that I'm not Chinese Chinese. It's kind of weird... as most people don't care and time consuming as well if you're just at a social and try to make small talk.
DeleteIn a way, I think it's good that we didn't really care where others came from during high school. It's like "o ya, I'm from South Africa, cool, let's go to lunch". But yes, I do want to ask our teachers how they feel teaching in HK or at other places, especially when they have so much influence over the kids.
I'm applying to 3 schools in DC area in Anthropology. Currently having a bit of trouble finding a third person to recommend me. Hopefully I'll be able to ask by tomorrow :S
MISS YOU TOO!